A Very Undead Life
by Nina of the Galaxy
Summary: There are a few reapers we weren't introduced to, this is the story of Alex Adonis.  All the reapers from the show, plus a few new ones. Starts out with the death of Alex. And this is her undead life.  See inside for more details. Lots of Swearing.
1. You're Dead

**Author's Note: **Hi guys, this is my first attempt at a Dead Like me fanfiction. I really hope you guys like it and I know it's a little different than normal, but I really hope you like it. I haven't exactly figured out the way I want it to go all the way, but here it is. And it's like circa 2008 in the story.

**A Very Undead Life**

There was a book in my bag, it was the last book I read when I was alive and it was for college. Surprisingly, I loved it. It was the thing that attracted her. Melody Gray. It had a sparkly cover on which was always my way of rebelling against the conformity of college. She asked me about it and then asked my name. While it was creepy, it was also sweet in a way. She was a soul of great interest and great timing when she came into my life, surprisingly at the end of my life. She seemed like a mother figure which I guess is why I didn't flip out when kissed me on the forehead and we parted ways. The fact that we spent all day together was also kind of nice. She put me on my way and said, "You better hurry or you'll miss that sale, Alex." I was buying a dress for an occasion I would never wear it to. I had just paid for it when I got out of the store, was pushed into this gaggle of cheerleaders who pushed me back out, onto a puddle, right before the escalator and I fell, the worst part was it wasn't the fall that killed me but some tried to help me and threw my head onto siding which killed me. I saw Melody one last time before she disappeared forever and she mouthed goodbye to me. The person I spent my last day with, said goodbye

"Is that me?" I asked, there were a few women looking at something when I saw a dead body. I was surprisingly at ease with the fact that I just died. There was also a man standing beside the ladies. He seemed to be enjoy whatever he had in his mouth. He was also looking at me, like he was figuring out what to say to me. Like I had just died, which it looked like I had. These things were just interesting. I was looking at my dead body, but I was dead. And I was not even twenty. I hadn't even had my first legal sip of alcohol and now I was dead. I guess I shouldn't have dwelled on that, but i was. "Am I DEAD?" I shouted, suddenly, with great realization that all those dreams that I had as a child would never come true. I would never have the chance to pursue them. The ease of which I looked upon my dead body for the first few moments was now gone. There was so much I could do with my life and it was just over. I had a job and school and a life and family, this wasn't fair. "WILL SOMEONE GOD DAMN ANSWER ME?"

The guy who seemed more interested in his food than me looked up and had the audicity to smile at me. "Why, cupcake, you gotta a set of pipes on you, now why don't you pipe down and listen to me," I finally seemed stunned enough that he was talking to me. He seemed so interested in his god damn food. Really, why the fuck did he care now? Why couldn't he just go back to his fucking food and leave me the hell alone? He wasn't going to appreciate the pain I was going through, but I was stunned enough to listen. "You're dead. Make peace with it." And suddenly, I was angry. I was dead. I needed my life back. I couldn't seriously be dead.

"I'm not dead. I had a life. I had a good life. I was going to college and had a job and had a good family, I did everything you're supposed to do when you're nineteen. I'm not dead. I have places to go with my life. I'm not dead! This isn't real," I screamed. It was the only thing that I could think of. I couldn't seriously be dead. People could see me. I could see them. They were talking to me. This was all a joke. This was a bad joke. But all around me people were looking at this dead figure and crying about me. I tried to tell someone other than these freaks who were standing around me that I wasn't dead but they couldn't hear me. Why couldn't they hear me? I wasn't ready for the smart ass comment that was about to come out of his mouth next.

"Oh, this is real and you're dead. Now, cupcake, you might as well get it out now, cause we have a long day ahead of us." He was snarky and I hated him. I wasn't quite sure why, but there was something that aggrevated me about how he treated my death like it was no big deal and how it shouldn't be a big deal to me. I really really hated it. And the answers out of his mouth weren't helping. He was going to be perfunctory about my death. It happened and I was dead and why the hell were these people just standing around and not trying to help me when so many others were.

"But I didn't feel anything and I want to live. I want to go to that stupid charity gala in my stupid dress and I want to roll my eyes and god dammit, why are you all standing around like you can't do anything?" I shouted and then I cried. Maybe it was my time to come to a head. I was finally starting to realize that I was dead. And there was nothing I could do about it.

"Wow, you got some pipes cupcake. Have to admit. But your soul was popped out before you died. That's why you didn't feel anything. That's why they can't see you, that's why you can't talk to them. And no one wants to die, just a fact of life that we do kiddo."

I felt angry in that moment. He was not letting me live. He wasn't doing anything to help me and I was just supposed to let this happen? No, I wanted to run away. I wanted my life back. Why the hell did this happen to me. It wasn't fair. I wanted my life back. "I was just getting started with my life. I was doing everything right. I was doing straight out of the motherfucking handbook. It's not fair. I want my life back and I want it back now." Cause I did. I desperately wanted to cling to what I had. I had so many goals in life that were left unfinished and I would never get to do them. The year my life had really started to get interesting, it was finished as well. Real fucking spectacular.

He didn't say anything in that moment, although the others looked at me like they pitied me and normally, that would have pissed me off to no end, but it seemed okay right now. I deserved some pity. I was dead. Although I couldn't take the smart-ass much longer, so I looked to the group, a blonde girl and a brighter blonder girl. "So what are you guys? Like some kind of Angel service or psychics?" I didn't know what to call them. What do you call the people who can talk to you after your dead? I was teary-eyed, but not as angry anymore. I was dead.

The blonde one with the brighter hair whom I would come to know as Daisy, smiled. She looked like a million bucks and I was happy for her. I really liked people. I was always a people person, except for those god damn cheerleaders who pushed me into that puddle which lead to my death. Fucking Cheerleaders, always hated them and now I had a reason to. They were responsible for my death. Guess, it wasn't totally right of me to pin it on them, but I had and right now I was quite fine with being irrational. Who the fuck cared anymore? I was dead and there was nothing that anyone could do about my irrationality. I guess that's the way I was coping with things in the moment. "Sorry to dissappoint, but we're not angels. Although Rube, always makes it sound better when he says, so Rube, explain it to her will you? This isn't exactly my area of expertise and normally Melody would have explained that but Melody's gone." She said with a twinkle in her eye. She seemed so happy.

The guy named Rube laughed, and as I discovered Rube was the asshole who I had been dealing with for the past few minutes who seemed to think that my death wsn't important. I was really starting to hate him, but like Betty said, Rube had a way with these words. "Well, like Betty said, we're not angels and we're certainly not psychics, Angels don't like getting their hands all muddy and psychics well psychics are bullshit. More importantly, we are known as Grim Reapers." The blonde one seemed to take my death with a little bit more shock and awe than the others. They were finally getting it up and out after I had been officially declared dead.

And that's when it hit me. The book me and Melody Gray had talked about all morning. I had learned about the mythology of death and I knew what a grim reaper really weas and maybe this was the chance I had to get my life back. "Then can't you take one of those cheerleaders or a cancer patient? I won't tell and I promise I'll still live by the book very smply and straight with the law. Come on, I'm a good kid, you can give me my life back." For some reason even though I knew I was dead I still wanted to be alive, like that body would take me back if I tried hard enough. I was still clinging to my life as though it existed even when it was very clear that it didn't exist and there was nothing more that I could realy do about it. And then the really fucked up part came, they said yes, and gave me that small glimmer of hope that I would get my life back. "Really? You can do that?" I asked, marveled by the sound of it. It seemed so easy just to put me back in my body.

"No." Those two letters ruined what I thought was my chance to escape from whatever hell this was. It wasn't fair. And I suspected they knew that and didn't care either way.

I was still upset. I wasn't ever going to get my life back. "That was my life. You people had no right to take it. And I want it back!" I stamped my foot like a child. I was only nineteen and yet no one seemed to notice or care. They just looked at me like this was all sort of the process of how it went, which looking back on it, it was. I would see it a few times in my undead life and it happened just the way it happened to me.

And then I just sat down and cried. Thankfully, everyone else seemed to sit down with me. The darker blonde, sat next to me and I felt like I had seen her somewhere, but she seemed to understand what I was going through. Rube sat on the other side and smiled again. I didn't see it this time, "Come on, we're gonna go see your autopsy, it'll make you feel better."

He couldn't be serious! How on earth would seeing my autopsy make me feel better at all? I wasn't entirely sure, but I had no choice but to follow him and these woman. So I got up and went to see my post-mortem. I wouldn't know it till we got there, but he was right. I was going to feel better seeing myself lie on a table all lifeless and dead. I still didn't see how I was still here. It didn't make any sense, although I suppose, death never did make a ton of sense. Especially the way I died. This was a start of a new life. A very undead life. The very undead life of me, Alex Adonis.


	2. Your Funeral

**Author's Note: ** Okay, so no reaped souls in this chapter. I don't know if I'm getting to it yet, but I thought it would be interesting to see the first part like we saw with George. It's not verbatum but I really like the direction it's going and hopefully you do too. Give me a comment and review so I can make it better. Anything would interesting.

**A Very Undead Life**

When Rube took me to see my autopsy, I understood what he meant about it making someone feel better. While I didn't really listen to his metaphorical and simile bullshit, seeing my body lying their lifeless and dead and cold did make me feel better. It was like seeing somebody else. It helped me cope with the fact that I was dead. I understood why they did autopsies, I wasn't stupid. Even in my case, when I was easily identifiable and the cause of death was simple or pretty damn complicated, they still needed to do it. They could get sued for not doing it and I knew that the government really hated getting tangled in legal bullshit more than anything. So they did these with everyone. It kind of created a false sense of security knowing that I was really truly finally dead and maybe I could move on and see God or something. I really seemed at ease with going to God. I hadn't really believed in him much as a living person, but there was always that small part of me that did. So I was ready and I thought I could leave. Oh silly me. "Okay, well, this has been a ball, I'm dead and I'm leaving."

"You got somewhere to go, cupcake?" Rube asked. He really annoyed me with this bullshit. I really didn't care for Rube and I suspect that he didn't care for me either. It didn't really matter right now. I was dead, why the fuck should I care?

I looked back to him, sipping his coffee and rolled my eyes. Wasn't it obvious where I had to go? I was meeting God. He didn't seem to get it, but I guessed I would have to spell it out. Though I suspect that Rube already knew my answer and knew what I was going to say. He still didn't give anything away. "Aren't I dead, going to God or some bullshit like this?" I wondered what annoyed me more about Rube the fact that he didn't give me the clues that he had or the fact that he had the clues and I had no idea what was going on. Really, it wasn't the idea of being dead now that so much bothered me, it was not knowing what happened next.

He laughed at me a little bit. "Oh no, cupcake. You're not going to god for awhile. And you're not going anywhere till your body is laid to rest."

I still didn't understand this. This didn't make much sense at all. I was dead. I saw that I was dead. I still had this feeling Rube was just an asshole who liked to take it out on other people and I didn't entirely like him. Really at all. He took me to see my body. That was the only thing I liked him for. Other than that, he was a jerk. "What the hell? I'm a body on a morgue table, I'm dead, how much more at rest can I fucking be? What do I have to go see my god damn funeral to see God?" I said angry with him. I'm not really sure if he realized how much he pissed me off.

"You have to come to terms with the death of this life in order to get on with your way into the next one, cupcake."

"What are you even talking about? Next life? Like reincarnation like my psychology of death class was discussing? Because if so, please take me to my next stage in life so I can fucking get on with it." Truth was, I just wanted to know where I stood and Rube wasn't very good at explaining things though he did love his food and drink. Since I'd met him, I didn't think I'd ever seen him without something in his hands.

Rube wasn't any huge help to me. He just didn't even bother looking at me. All I knew was that some chick called Melody Gray had taken my soul and then disappeared and now I was stuck with this asshole.

All in all, my family said some really nice things about me. A few friends came, and that was about it. Thankfully, it wasn't held at the house I rented. I really didn't want people in my house. It just seemed wrong. My family was of money, kind of. Which was nice. But they were also paranoid and instilled a fear of banks from a relatively young age. Yes, the rich ones are always the crazy ones. Now I wasn't superfly, but I had enough to indulge in a nice designer pair of shoes or purse every couple of months even with almost all my money, being basically underneath my mattress for savings. I had an odd family and let's just leave it at that. I was actually relatively normal compared to most of them.

I liked to stand at funerals. Everyone always sat down because they were so depressing but I always thought that standing and remembering that you were alive even if it was through a slight pain was always the best way to remember the dead. And so I stood at my own funeral. Everyone said nice things and everyone remembered me. I even cried. I hated funerals and now it seemed like maybe i wouldn't have to bear witness to anymore. The reception for the funeral, was nice. It was in this great big open space with lots of food. Just like I would have wanted.

It ws weird to think that people in my life actually knew what I wanted them to do. They carried on without a huge hullabaloo about it. There was dancing at my funeral and it was good. Rube, of course, seemed interested in the food and who I would come to know as George seemed to want to try and help the people in my life. I finally sat down, next to Rube on a plush black worn leather couch, looking glum. I would never see any of these people again. Little did I know, I was all wrong. Rube had his food and looked straight ahead. It really was probably for the best, if he had made eye contact right away I don't know if I would cried in that moment or screamed. Not that anyone else could hear me so it didn't really matter.

And then someone sat on me. I didn't know what I could do. There was nothing I could do. I tried to shout and scream and have them quit what they were doing, but this wasn't going to go over very well. Rube looked over and George smiled. "Hey, that seat's taken." And whoever the man was left and went to find another spot.

"What the freaking hell? Why can they see you but they can't see me? Not even for the decency of not god damn sitting on me?" George told me later that she thought it was some kind of iniation that you had to be sat on while you were dead before Rube actually let you in on what was going on. I wasn't sure if she was right, but it did make me feel better knowing that it wasn't just me that he had done this to. How many people exactly had he done this to I wondered? I wouldn't ever really figure that oout, but it seemed like more than just me and George.

He rolled his eyes at me which only served to piss me off. "You, cupcake, are dead. I thought we'd been over this."

"Aren't you dead too? Isn't that why you can see me? So why can they see you and not see me?" I would soon learn that my inquisitive tendencies didn't do anything for Rube's mood either. Well, at least we pissed each other which I guess was a good thing. I didn't like the fact that Rube was a slave driver and didn't tell you information till it was convenient for him to do so, but that small part of me was glad I was getting him back every time I asked more questions that he had bargained for. Yeah, not the normal fire and brimstone kind of punishment, but it worked its magic too.

"No, I am not dead, I am undead and I can already feel the question coming on, so why don't you fucking ask it and get it over with."

Now that he told me to ask the question, it was no fun to ask it. I was feeling rather defiant in death even though all i did was try and please my parents and friends and everyone when I was alive. I don't know what was happening while I was dead, but I was suddenly becoming more and more defiant. I was always kind of a pushover when I was alive, but no one could fucking see me and hell I was good enough to just to be defiant that way. My life changed the day I died, even though I didn't know it. "I don't wanna now though. You've ruined all the fun of the question by knowing that there's a question, you've defeated the purpose. You might as well have just told me what's the difference or kept your mouth shut."

"There you go, all it takes is a little coaxing sometimes. Now, I am undead. And the difference since I have no degree of need for your questions is that grants me certain rights that you my dear cupcake do not get because you are dead. One such right is the right to a physical body which people can see, even interact with and allows me to eat. Now you do not have that right or privilege cause you cupcake are dead. "

I still didn't get it. Why wasn't I able to communicate with the living? I tried the moments after I died, on the esclator, but no one understood me. And I guess it was well enough that I left it alone. It was enough for me that my family came to see me when I was dead. They all lived on the other side of the country and begged me to go to an ivy league school, but I had to be different and carve my own way out of my own path. My eccentric family understood even though they didn't agree with it. None of them would have been caught dead in the dress I was buying because I bought it on sale at a regular run of the mill department store. None of them would ever understand this. I was the one who had to get away and they let me bee that person and now I couldn't even tell them I was alright. "can you tell them I'm alright? Like it doesn't need to be from me, but reassure them. They're my family, I want them not to worry."

"Cupcake, you are going to be more trouble than you're worth, you know that?" He asked, I didn't say anything, but he lugged himself over to my parents and did what I asked. "You know your daughter she's gonna be fine. I think she came to terms with her death, just don't worry about it too much." They thanked him and I smiled. That was all I wanted. Now I could move on and find somewhere new to be. It wasn't like there was anything here left for me now.

So I watched my parents pick up the pieces and try and get their lives back together now that I was no longer going to be a part of it. There was so much life I still had in me, but they had to carry that burden not me. So Rube showed me out the door and I went. We waited till it got late and no one was around anymore. This was my goodbye party, the procession that made it all the more real. They were eating and having a good time in my honor. All as much, I wanted it to happen that way. They were good parents even though no one would believe me if I ever said that. They weren't the kind of parents that were around everyday, but at least they loved me. And loved me enough to respect my wishes even after I was dead. They could have a shit reception to my death and I don't know what have happened then, but right in this very moment, I didn't care. And so after everyone went away, I looked to Rube and smiled. "So I've been laid to rest, I've seen my autopsy, I've been to my funeral, I've been to my reception for my funeral, do I get to go see God or something now?"

He laughed a little. "You people always think you're going to God. No, cupcake, you don't get to go to God or something now, you get to become a grim reaper."

I didn't understand what he meant. Why hadn't anyone said something about this sooner. I was dead. It wasn't like any new information was certainly going to haive an impact on my life. So I didn't get it. This wasn't for real. "I don't want to be a grim reaper, I just want to go to fucking God or wherever I'm supposed to go and be at peace with my death. I don't want to take souls and all that. No, other people may sign up for this stupid bullshit lifestyle, but not fucking me. No way, no how."

"Well, I'm sorry life didn't end the way you planned, Melody took your soul and it was her last now you have to take her place. You don't get an option in that cupcake. Now please come on, everyone else is a little bit better about explaining this then I am, so please just come with me and talk."

With Rube before that, you couldn't shut me up. But everytime he mentioned that I needed to talk some more, I was always very defiant and wanted to talk less, so we got in a car and drove to a crazy place call Der Waffle Haus. I'd seen it in passing a couple of times. I never did understand it, but it seemed okay. Nice and sanitary. But it wasn't like I wanted to be there. I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted those pearly gates to swing open just for me. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. We met the two blonde girls who had been at the scene of my death. It'd been such a long couple of days, I forgot I was even dead sometimes. The brighter blonder one didn't seem that smart. She was dressed in clothes like my mother would buy for me. They gave off the appearance of being smart, but underneath it all, you were just some dumb little rich girl. "She doesn't seem like a talker. She seems all so sad. And it's a shame, she's so pretty." The compliment made me feel better but the girl didn't know what she was talking about.

"Oh, no, she's a talker. She just wigs out every once in a while. She's got a mouth and she can use it. She's just really skittish about the whole grim Reaper gig right now that she's been saddled with."

My blood boiled when he said that. He didn't know me. He had no right to make any sort of statement on my behalf. And why were they talking about me like I wasn't even here? They clearly acknowledged my presence, but they weren't talking to me which had always really pissed me off. "Look, I didn't ask for this. I don't want to be a grim reaper, I just want to go to fucking heaven and get on with my afterlife. So if someone could point me in the right direction that would be great." I still had a feeling that none of them were going to be particuliarly helpful to me. They seemed to like or at least tolerate Rube where I just couldn't do anything of the sort. He rubbed me the wrong way and wasn't getting away with it. There was just too much to think about. I just wanted this all to be a bad dream. It wasn't.

"Oh, honey, no one ever wants to be a reaper, but it's our job. Now millions upon millions of people die everyday and you know bodies in the grand scheme of things pretty simple to take care of, but the souls are the important part and someone has to take care of them. And who do you think takes care of them?" She asked, without waiting for my answer, she just trudged along. "We take care of the souls."

The other blonde spoke up. "It's not so bad. I know it seems like it really sucks right now, but you get the rare oppurtunity to be young forever. And you're a caretaker to souls, you help them move on to their final destination and one day you get to go there too." So now I had a basic idea of what I would be doing for all eternity, but still it was just too much to put your mind around in one sitting, so I put my hands on my head and closed my eyes for a few seconds. Unfortunately when I opened them back up, I was still in the nightmare that we called reality and it stunk.

And then the waitress came, there were going to be lots of stories I would hear about her, but she was cool with the whole death at a booth thing, if she even noticed half the time. "What can I get ya?" Rube as usual ordered a monstrous plate of food, the two blondes order something very basic. "Is there anything you want?" she asked to me. I looked at them and looked back at her. Being dead was confusing.

"She can see me?" I ask, looking bug-eyed. This was the strangest thing. I was just told that no one could see me and now, I was being seen by a waitress? Well, that was fantastic. All I really wanted to know was why. It seemed so strange, but George who seemed like the normal one, just touched my arm and attempted to comfort me in my moment of panic. Apparently this was the way that a lot of reapers start out and it's only natural for the first time that someone sees you after your dead to be a little chaotic. Thankfully, George was there and managed to help me through this stressful time. "How can she see me I thought I was dead and therefore couldn't be seen by anyone?"

Rube just looked at me as if I was retarded. "First time reapers, always the same god damn thing. Yes, she can see you, now shut up and order something before she thinks you're a crazy person."

And at that I was flabbergasted into just ordering a piece of cherry pie with some whipped cream on it. That was my first first as a Reaper, little did I know that there would be plenty in my afterlifetime. Guess, it wasn't so bad. The first meal I ever ate after being dead was a piece of pie. Could have been worse I guessed. "So let me get this straight, I was dead, but now I'm undead, because Melody Gray, the woman who kissed me on the forehead reaped my soul and I filled her quota and no one knows when thier quota's filled until they get their last one like me with Melody? Melody got some kind of wierd promotion or lights and I get to take her place? Is this like God's way of like keeping his god damn ducks in a row to make sure that everyone comes fucking back? And people die alone all the time what happens to them? Why don't they get the kiss goodbye?"

"You know what Rube, you're right, this one is a talker." Daisy snarked. Daisy seemed pretty much useless to me. And it wasn't like I hadn't liked useless people before. She just seemed annoying and like every stereotype I was trying to avoid but desperately couldn't.

He looked at me at that moment and said the one that I loinged to hear in that moment and didn't know. "Yes, I know it's screwed up, but this is the way that things are done and you can either accept or not, but it doesn't change the way things are. Things happen and you're going to have to get that place where you can accept it. You may not get over it now or tomorrow or even next week, but you have to get it Alexandria, this is your destiny and you've got to live with it." He said and it, all of it, nothing made sense, but it wasn't supposed to and that's what he was trying to get at. He sounded angry that I asked why and so many question but I was okay with angry. I wasn't quite sure I could handle what came next. They all talked at me and to me about destiny and fate and nowhere in any of this did they say choice. I guess there wasn't one.


End file.
